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Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
Welcome to Towards Eden Enneagram, a show where we dissect our Enneagram types so we can understand ourselves and have way better relationships.
The Enneagram is a tool that illuminates our motivations, our blind spots, and the differences between myself and others.
We can use it to see ourselves more clearly and to get healthier.
The Enneagram isn’t about what we do. It’s about WHY we do what we do.
Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
#32 - Enneagram 101 - What is an Enneagram 5? with Tammy Leininger
Today we get to learn from Tammy Leininger all about Enneagram Fives!
Type 5 is known as “The Observer” or “The Researcher.” Fives are logical, emotionally detached, and investigative. They love having more and more knowledge about interesting topics.
Tammy walks us through the Type Five core fears of being incompetent and having her energy depleted. Then the Type Five core desire of being knowledgable, capable, and competent.
'Having the answers' is important for Fives; Tammy talks about what that's like for her as a mental health counselor.
Tammy loves to guide women in making changes to experience more growth, confidence, and peace as a mental health counselor and coach.
For more with Tammy, check out episode #15 - the withdrawn stance. Tammy represents Type 5 in a panel of the withdrawn numbers: 4, 5, and 9.
Connect with Tammy on Instagram here.
Grab the Enneagram Guide for your type at work for $1! Enter code 'HIELYSE' at checkout.
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Get my free Guide to the 9 Enneagram Types 🌱
This guide is a great quick-reference to help you remember the types.
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My guest today is Tammy Leininger. Tammy is a Enneagram Type 5. She's a coach certified through your Enneagram coach, and Tammy was on a panel discussion that I did a few months ago about the withdrawn types. That's episode number 15. And that episode has been downloaded over 200 times, which up to this point, that is the most of any of my episodes, so it's the most popular. It is the only episode I've done with a type five, so I wonder if Tammy might be the reason that episode is so popular. So it's about time that we share more about Enneagram fives. So, tammy, can you tell us where in the world are you and what do you do in life?
Speaker 2:I am in Clarksville, tennessee, in middle Tennessee, and I am a coach and a licensed professional counselor. I'm a mom and a wife. That's me in a nutshell. I'm the owner and the coach of Unbound Coaching and also the owner and the therapist at Unbound Living Counseling. So, um, my mission in life has been to help women unbind from fear and shame and then find the steps they need to move forward in their relationships and in their work and find their courage and their compassion and their clarity.
Speaker 1:That is awesome. I'm excited to talk more about how your Enneagram 5 gifts impact that mission of helping women come out of fear and shame. So we're here to talk about type 5. So we're going to kind of start with the basics. Okay, we're going to give you guys a sketch of what is this Enneagram type, the fears, the basics. Okay, we're going to give you guys a sketch of what is this Enneagram type, the fears, the desires, what drives them. And Tammy's going to help me do that because she obviously knows all about it.
Speaker 1:So I call Enneagram fives the researcher. The core desire of type five is they want to be capable, competent and knowledgeable. So being prepared with knowledge is very important to fives and their core fears are of being helpless, useless or incompetent and also having their energy depleted. So I'm sure Tammy will talk more about this. But that rationing of the energy and having their internal energy depleted is a big fear for fives. And Enneagram fives are in the head triad, so they lead their decision-making with thinking. So throughout this series we'll be talking about which three types are head, which three types are in the heart triad and which three types are in the gut triad. So Enneagram type five is in the head triad. So, tammy, do you want to comment on any of the fears and desires I listed before we jump into your story about how you discovered your type five?
Speaker 2:I think there's so much to say about the fears and desires there. I think you know that piece about wanting to be prepared for everything so you're not depleted by anything. I think it really sums it up. I think the problem sometimes is just we believe that we have to be prepared by understanding everything from the get go, which is never possible. We believe that we have to be prepared by understanding everything from the get-go, which is never possible yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:It's never possible, but you're still looking for it and we all, we all, every enneagram type has the thing. That's not possible, but we're still reaching for it, right? Yeah okay, so let's go to this story about you. Love to hear how you discover your type five, um, and with that you can share what were the things about type five that made you realize your type five I wish somewhere I have the original test that I took.
Speaker 2:I don't know where it is, I would love to find it. Um, I don't remember what website it was it was some website but I remember it was like four, five, six and seven were the numbers that kind of resonated for me and I looked at that and I was like, oh, I must be a six or seven Because the sixes like that cynical side, I can be incredibly cynical. Because the sixes like that cynical side, I can be incredibly cynical. And then the sevens like I love just being spontaneous and getting in the car and going somewhere and doing things, trying to find new things that I've never found before, and I love that idea. I really wanted to be a type seven, to be honest. So I kind of like was holding all of those, I was like I could be one of these, and then I was reading through the wisdom of the Enneagram and that was when I kind of found I was like, oh, no, no, no, like it's that type five pattern that fits best.
Speaker 2:I think part of it was that sense of being really private until I'm not. But it takes a while for me to get past that, not necessarily the walls but I can be really, really private. I'm not going to share much about myself until I know you're trustworthy. That sort of over-reliance on information Um, I love books, I love information, I love, um downloading things, having physical things in my hands that can help me answer questions, and there's definitely a sense of I'll feel more secure if I can read enough books. About this. There's definitely a sense of I'll feel more secure if I can read enough books about this.
Speaker 2:I some of the stuff is so embarrassing to say out loud, but I think it's so important. I have a real resistance to being overwhelmed by other people's needs or expectations of me. I will push back against that, I will avoid things and I think that's held me back a lot in life. And I think too, just that sense of so much of the world happens up here in between my ears, in my head, that sometimes I don't ever do the things that I have been thinking about doing for a long time.
Speaker 1:Do you have any? Can you think of an example of what you just mentioned about how other people's needs and desires overwhelm you, so you find ways to avoid them? What would that look like?
Speaker 2:Oh, so many things. When you're in a helping field, I think people will sometimes come to you expecting you to be the expert and expecting you to have magical wands, where people are desperate for somebody to come in and have the magic wand to fix poverty or like really difficult situations, like within a school system, and so they're coming at me with all of this energy of you need to take all of this on, you need to fix all of this and me having wanting to be a helper but not being able to fix it because there is no magic wand.
Speaker 1:I've seen that a lot, especially in my jobs over the years. Yeah, one thing about Enneagram 5s that's really important for people to understand is this idea of the limited energy. But would you describe that in any other way of like your limited inner resources? What makes sense to you to describe?
Speaker 2:it. There are times with like in a social situation, where some people really will have a lot of energy and they'll be big and they'll have lots of. They want to talk a lot and they want to engage you or they want to do a lot of things. That can be exhausting, and so sometimes I think the energy can be limited that way.
Speaker 1:A lot of Enneagram teachers say that type fives have perhaps the least amount of energy on the Enneagram and they're very aware of how much energy is left per day. So it's this rationing mindset of I need to ration the energy that I have today. And I mean I wonder if you're in that social situation and that person with the big energy is coming and talking and is that something that really just you know maybe sucks a disproportionate amount of that rationed energy that you have?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I can't compare it to anybody else's energy level, but I can feel the drain. I'm just like please, let me just disappear right now. And there are definitely times where I I can totally show up right in those situations and like being engaged is a value for me. So I want to be there, mm, hmm. But then if, like, something gets thrown into my day that I wasn't expecting, it can be like I'm completely out. I can get real cranky. I didn't have anything left for this because I had spent so much over here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you manage your energy? Well, how do you manage your energy so that you have what you need for your family?
Speaker 2:I think saying I just do it it's not a good answer. There are definitely days where I'm really honest with them about hey, I don't have a whole lot to give right now and we plan for when I will. What are we going to do later this week, you know, to be able to connect or to have fun or whatever. That is um, but I think it just it's more of an intuitive, just kind of knowing, because just balancing it yeah, and it's what it's what it's like for you all the time in your head.
Speaker 1:So I think maybe I'm not a type five, so I'm talking about it in a way that is maybe you don't relate to so much, just because it's so natural now I do know it's been helpful, like the past few years, like trying to identify, like, what energizes me and what drains me.
Speaker 2:Okay, and where do I feel neutral? Um, I mean to the point where I'll put it in my planner, like I know that these are things that are going to drain me and too many of those back to back, I just need to be aware, like the next day I need to make sure that I have some things that are going to fill it back up. So there really is a very thoughtful awareness of that for me.
Speaker 1:What are some things that uh fill you back up it depends on the time.
Speaker 2:I think. Sometimes having time by myself, sometimes having time with other people it definitely depends on the people. I think, like a few weeks ago I got in the car and just drove and I decided I was going to drive until I found something that was fun and different, that I had never seen before and that was great. Sometimes right can be really energizing. If I'm learning things to try to manage my anxiety about not knowing things, it's not as energizing. Oh, that's really good, um, because it's more like I'm chasing my tail.
Speaker 1:Then I'm just learning something because it's really fun and interesting to me wow, and you have to be so thoughtful about knowing what that motivation is Like. That's not something that's natural to any of us, I think, but that is really cool that you're distinguishing, like, what is the reason that I'm learning this? Yeah, yeah, I do sometimes find myself like doing extra research and and research and research, but it's because of anxiety. It's either coming out of anxiety or it's feeling more anxiety actually usually both. Sometimes we learn more things, sometimes I learn more things to try to feel safe, but then it just makes me feel crazier.
Speaker 1:So right yeah'm going to go through some of these main topics and we'll go through one at a time and talk more about what they mean. So we're going to start with the Enneagram core desire. I really want to remind everybody listening that Enneagram type. At its base it comes from our core fears and our core desires. It's not about behaviors at all and people can look very similar to each other behavior wise, but they're being motivated by very different things. So what Tammy is helping us understand today is what are those fears and desires at the core that are pushing type fives? Enneagram type five core desire is to be capable, competent and knowledgeable. So, tammy, what is that like for you? If you could think of any examples of how that plays out in your life?
Speaker 2:that plays out in your life. Yeah, I think being knowledgeable and capable and confident. The knowledge helps me feel capable and confident when so much of the world feels like unsure or scary. If I can understand it, if I can understand the processes that are going on, if I can understand how the pieces are working together, then I really feel like somewhere. I believe that I won't be overwhelmed by it because I can understand the pieces and then if I can understand them, I can maybe control it better.
Speaker 2:I think it limits me when I think that I have to do that before I can really engage fully. But I also really like systems and so cheat sheets and notebooks and bulleted lists and all those things. I think when I've been unhealthier, the idea of doing things on the fly is scary without a cheat sheet. But when I'm healthier, doing things on the fly and trusting my gut always turns out really well and being able to go with the flow. But it takes time and energy to kind of get out of that sense of like. I have to understand it first. I have to have the cheat sheet in front of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm hearing the words understanding and prepared a lot. Yeah, one thing that happens oftentimes with Enneagram type fives is it's hard for them to move into action because with the gathering knowledge and expanding your understanding and fives are great at doing research and learning a lot about a topic but many times, you know, fives can just kind of stay paralyzed in that space and it's harder for them to move um into action. Uh, can you say anything about what that's been like for you? Um, and it's. Of course it's different based on how healthy we are, how much we understand ourselves, but we're kind of just looking at the, the type 5 on autopilot yeah, um, the best example I have.
Speaker 2:So I had dreamed of opening a private practice for years and years and years and I finally did. But I had notebooks that I information and books that I bought and all of this stuff when some people I know start a business and they just decide to start a business and just go, but I have just piles of information that I've been collecting over the years.
Speaker 1:Congrats on starting your private practice. That's really amazing, has it? Has it been going well since you pulled the trigger?
Speaker 2:um, I'm just getting started, oh really so I'm hopeful.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're brand new. That is awesome. I'm sure you know enough, like you have. You have all the knowledge and information there yeah yeah, so we've been talking about the core desire of being capable, competent and knowledgeable, and then, on the flip side, the core fear of type 5 is being helpless, useless or incompetent. How do those words hit you helpless, useless, incompetent I don't know.
Speaker 2:Like, I definitely don't want to feel incompetent. I don't know if I fear being useless, which sounds weird, okay, um, but I I want to, especially like in working with helping people, I want to be able to show up and be competent in providing what they need. Yes, that's probably where I see that the most. I don't, I guess, with like relationships and things like that. I want those to go well, but I see more the incompetence and the fear of that, probably professionally, I think, and just with like things not being being awkward, probably more in other areas of my life, like I'd like to avoid the awkwardness sometimes, but sometimes you got to embrace that.
Speaker 1:Just that's what it is like the awkwardness in like what kind of areas life?
Speaker 2:everything, everything. Um, you know I'm not a fan of small talk. I just can't. Um, I could sit down and talk about deep things and fears and all of that real easily, but, um, I've had to learn. I've gotten better at small talk, probably, but it's not my favorite. Um, I think when I think about fear, I always think more about that feeling overwhelmed. I've gotten better at small talk, probably, but it's not my favorite. I think when I think about fear, I always think more about that feeling overwhelmed and feeling depleted feels so much more true for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so having your energy depleted is a big fear. Um, okay, I did not prepare you for this question, so if you don't have an answer, that's okay. But I'm just thinking can you remember any experiences early in life whether it was kid, teenager or you being a young adult where you really have an experience of experiencing the energy depletion and that really affecting you or impacting you, anything like that?
Speaker 2:So many. I mean honestly. Growing up, my dad was a pastor and so there were times when we would be like in the church and there would be a lot of expectations about how I should be acting or interacting with people, and that was really. There were times when I didn't have anything to give, anything more to give, or it would just be like there was people were trying to think so much that I had nothing left.
Speaker 1:Um, and paying a lot of attention to you, I'm guessing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and kind of feeling like you were sort of on yeah um, and so that's probably like the strongest memory I have that's intense.
Speaker 1:I think anyone any anyone who's a pastor's kid would say that's an intense experience and kind of feel like the spotlight is on you. Is that how it felt?
Speaker 2:a little, I think, when you're a child, or a teenager too like you don't know how to respond to people, like you haven't gotten any lessons for that. So there probably was a little bit of like I feel incompetent to know how to interact right now or how to manage this situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense. It's like the feeling incompetent about how to manage this situation. Yeah, that makes sense. It's like the feeling incompetent about how to interact with all of this attention. But then also the energy depletion because people are and I heard you talk about expectations too, so there's something to being aware of other people's expectations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that awareness is a good word too, because I think it's type fives for observers, and so it's easy for us to be aware of the expectation, even if it's not being said to us like we're sort of observing oh, this is what the situation expects of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's another nickname that people give to type. Fives is the observer, so I'm glad that you brought that up. Okay, so let's talk about the head triad. Five, sixes and sevens are in the head triad, so we call them thinking types. They will typically think first in decision making, before feelings and before the gut instincts. So what is it like to be in the head triad, tammy?
Speaker 2:can be wonderful because I have everything I need up in my head. I can work through anything. I don't get bored easily because I have so many things that I could think about and so many rabbit trails to go down. But it can also feel really limiting because I'm not everything is here right and so it's easy to be isolated or to be not kind of engaging in the things that I want to do and actually get the satisfaction of finishing things. But I definitely I can see how I try to solve conflicts and emotions and relational things, all of that different stresses. I try to manage it all through thinking. But it's interesting too because I tell people a lot like you can't outthink your way from a thinking problem, and that resonates with most people. So I wonder if that's something that we all do a little bit. Can you say it again? Like we just can't outthink our way from a thinking problem. If you try to outthink it and you try to think your way through it, at some point you're just that merry-go-round is spinning in your head.
Speaker 1:I have heard it said that Enneagram type fives are maybe more comfortable thinking about their feelings than feeling their feelings. Is this true for you?
Speaker 2:that at first I thought I was feeling them, yeah, but I think I think you hear this, I think it, um, I was trying to understand it. I was trying to rationalize the emotion. I was trying to, um, like, defend the emotion to myself or defend the emotion to other people instead of just feeling the feeling. And when I was able to feel it and validate it and not try to be rationalizing it or understanding it, that was really freeing for me. Hmm.
Speaker 1:I think your use of the word defend is really interesting here, like you're talking about defending your feelings, and fives are so logical, right, like perhaps the most logical type, and you're even bringing that into. I must you know logic must be the thing that proves that something is valid.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Have you that something is valid? Yeah, have you? Have you developed any strategies personally about, uh, when you know you need to do a little more feeling of the feeling like how to get there, how to make space for that?
Speaker 2:Um, a couple of ways I like to hack my crying and so sometimes, if there's just not time to feel it, I have some things that I will listen to or watch that I know pretty consistently. I can get there, I can do my, get it out and then kind of have that release. I also, like I'm really mindful about at least a couple times a week I try to sit down and just check in and be like OK, like what's going on in your body, like what emotions are there, like what needs your attention? Are there needs that are coming up that I'm just sort of plowing past because there's not time for it? And how do I just sort of sit with those and validate them? I think it really does. Sometimes I have to set aside time for that. Um, I think also, sometimes, just when I'm noticing like a lot of um I guess stress is the best word for it just saying, is there another emotion underneath this that I just need to name it?
Speaker 1:That's hard to do so hard. Often to figure out what the emotion even is. That was great. That was a lot of really good info about being in the head triad. Do you have a preference, if you like, relying next on feelings or gut instincts once you go past thinking?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I think it might be good instincts, just because I think using my body to kind of counteract my head has been so helpful, um, and being able to tap into that it's been so important nice, okay, let's move on to talking about relationships.
Speaker 1:So here's the question what are some of your top values in relationships? And then, how do you think those values connect with your Enneagram type?
Speaker 2:I think people who are authentic, people who are loyal, people who are patient and understand that they can allow me space when we're talking to be able to kind of think about what I need to say or kind of come back later if I have more ideas, or people that understand that we may not talk for a while but we can always pick it up where we left off. There's not that pressure of why haven't you called me? Why aren't we talking? That's been really important. And people who are deep I like people who really are big thinkers.
Speaker 1:Okay, Love that yeah, people who are okay skipping past small talk and going yes.
Speaker 2:Let's just go. Let's just go, my best friend. And we don't talk nearly as much as we would like to, but we're like what's the agenda? Like we know we've got an agenda. We each bring our agenda and we usually jump in pretty quick to the deep stuff. We don't mess around.
Speaker 1:Do you have like a written down agenda?
Speaker 2:No, just in our heads.
Speaker 1:That is awesome.
Speaker 2:We got things to talk about and they're important so and I think I also like people who are just ready for trying new things, um, who want to just get in the car and go um, people who really love. Like one of our one of our family values is we don't ever eat at a restaurant that you can get at home if we're on a vacation. It's got to be somewhere new. It can't be a chain. But yeah, people who just like to try new things I think are really fun to be around.
Speaker 1:That is awesome the spontaneity, the fun, the deep thinking. Yeah, Do you tend to have more of a pretty close circle of people that you trust and give a lot to, or do you feel like you have a big circle of acquaintances or what's that like?
Speaker 2:I think I have a close circle of people who are my people. I think I have a close circle of people who are my people and they're all spread out. They're not necessarily. Some are here locally and some, you know, live in Maryland and Pennsylvania and Ohio. They're kind of all over the place. But I think once somebody is in my circle, they're usually in my circle, because my instinctual subtype would be the social five, right Okay. And so I do tend to kind of carry people with me, which is the best way I can say. That is that like, once you're in my circle, you're in my circle. We can probably jump right back in again. We have that trust and I kind of carry the stories. I will be the keeper of the stories, I will be the one that remembers the things and has the pictures and the scrapbooks and all of that, and so I think just having those shared stories with people is really important too.
Speaker 1:I remember on the podcast that we did about the withdrawn stance four, five and nine that you were on with me, tammy. We talked about how fours, fives and nines have an orientation to time.
Speaker 1:that's looking to the past, and I remember you talking a little bit about this keeper of the stories value that you have, because you do have an awareness of what happens in the past and I think I remember you saying you know like it's important to take care of our history and then also let the past inform, like who we are today and moving forward. Yeah, I'm also wondering in your relationships, like, what would you say are the strengths that you bring in relationship? What would your people say?
Speaker 2:that they love about you. Hmm, I think I I can't be fun. That's good. I think I do tend to bring depth to relationships too. My husband and I dated long distance for several months and a lot of our relationship was talking for hours on the phone and I think that was probably really bonding for us, because we both are like. We care deeply about people and about, like, how to better understand, like the worlds that we live in and in different things like that, and so just being able to jump into some of those deeper topics I think probably was was one of the things that bonded us together I bet that sounds like a great bonding experience.
Speaker 1:And what else are you gonna do when? All you have connecting you is hours, hours. What's your husband's enneagram type?
Speaker 2:he um resonates with the type one okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So I mean we can see in ones also that a lot of ones love the to go deep and in the research and talking about topics.
Speaker 2:So yes, you have a lot of books in this house, a lot of books, a lot of books in this house oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to read some of the type 5 nicknames. I have collected this list of nicknames from all over the Enneagram world. Different people use different nicknames and I want to know which one you like the most, which one you would want to identify with Type five the observer, the thinker, the researcher, the investigator.
Speaker 2:Okay, the researcher, the investigator. Hmm, I think observer fits Probably the most, researcher also, probably because I think I can really get into a certain topic and really get into that topic for a while. So those two probably fit the best.
Speaker 1:Do you ever find that you're able to show your love and care for people and relationships through your skill of researching or understanding Like? Is that something that you can use to help other people in a way?
Speaker 2:I think professionally for sure, because I have all of that information that I can pull from. I don't know, I had a nickname for a while. My family called me tammy trivia because I would tell the whole trivia out. I don't know if they appreciated it or not, but, um, I thought it was fun. I thought it was fun to have random bits of trivia to share. Um, they might have a different response oh, that's so funny tammy trivia.
Speaker 1:Well, that's fun, like who. You're just bringing up random stuff. Did you know, come on, did you know absolutely?
Speaker 2:yes, who doesn't want that more than you ever needed to know?
Speaker 1:um, okay, so professionally you're a counselor and so, um, yeah, I mean, I imagine that you have a lot of knowledge that you are able to share with your clients. What is it about that? Do you think that really makes you a great counselor and great at working with your clients?
Speaker 2:I think you know it's interesting even now, when I was younger, I felt like I needed to have the answers for people, and I don't feel like that anymore. I think people sometimes go to counseling wanting answers and getting frustrated when they can't have them. But the magic is in when you're really able to figure it out yourself right. So I think, being able, I have that four wing where I'm able to sit with people in the stock, enough that when I need to, I can pull out something for them, but I can know when it's the right time because we can be in that connection. If that makes any sense, yeah, and I think that's really important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not like you have a, it's not like there's this urgency of I need to give you the right answer right now and push you to the answers Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's definitely. I think type fives are really good at observing and sitting back and letting it be for a while. There's we're not. We're not quick to action if you didn't know, um, and so just being able to sit there and just notice what's going on in the room sometimes can be so powerful, and just'm just bearing witness to that.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful. So some of the action oriented people really struggle with that, yeah, but there is a real gift to that presence. Yeah, so, tammy, have you read the road back to you by Ian.
Speaker 2:Cron I have.
Speaker 1:We are going to read a little bit from that book. Okay, maybe Ian Cron will hear this and want to have us on his podcast. And my name is Elise and I'm a type 1 and it would be a great interview for you laughing this and my name is Elise and I'm a type one and I'll be a great interview for you, uh, this. So, ian Cron, this is a book that I love recommending because it's a great primer. There's a great chapter on each type um, it's called the road back to you, and also there is an audiobook version so you can listen to it. But Ian gives, in each chapter, he gives a list of 20 things of what it's like to be blank type. So it could be helpful, if you're trying to decide which type you are, to kind of read through those lists. If there's a couple different types might have five or six to get some differentiation. So I'm going to read 10 of them and if you want to hear the other 10, dear listeners, you can find the book. So I'll read 10 of these things, tammy, and then I'd love to hear if you resonate, especially with any one or two of them. Okay, so here's Ian Morgan Cron's list of what it's like to be a type five.
Speaker 1:I can take care of myself, and I think others could do the same. I don't always say things out loud, but in my head I am pretty sarcastic and cynical. I often feel awkward around other people. I'm okay if people ask me a few specific questions about myself, but I don't like it when people want too much information. Unfortunately, I feel that that's what I've been doing too for the last 45 minutes. I need time alone. If I want people to know how I feel, I will tell them. I generally wish they wouldn't ask. I think thoughts are more reliable than feelings. I need a couple of days to process and experience or to know how I feel about something. People are wasteful. I hold on to what I have. Often I find that I would rather observe than participate.
Speaker 2:The piece about the too much information definitely resonates Having to give too much. I think if somebody says, tell me about yourself, I got nothing for you, I don't know, I'll answer your questions to a point, but yeah, just talking about myself is difficult. I definitely need time alone. I need to find ways that are really good for me. I'm not just wasting time, but I can really sort of regroup. I don't know if it takes me days to process, but it definitely takes me time to process.
Speaker 1:At least a couple hours. Well, tammy, we have come to the end of my script, so I'd love to give you A minute. If you have any final thoughts, slash. You can let listeners know where they can connect with you more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard to speak for every type five, but I think the one thing that I would say is that the idea of being able to acknowledge your emotions, acknowledge your needs, and giving yourself the permission to feel what you feel and need what you need can be so helpful instead of feeling like you have to be up here, be thinking about things all the time and then finding like just small things that you can do to move towards action and pushing yourself that way is just such a big part of changing and growing. But you can find me I'm on Instagram at unboundcc, and my website is unboundcoachingorg.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, I thank you so much for giving your time and, you know, for being open about sharing about yourself. I know that's not the most comfortable thing, um for you, but I really appreciate it. And that is our intro to enneagram type fives with tammy leininger yeah it's good talking to you.
